@MariyaAlexander: Make a horror film less scary by putting old timey words in the title, i.e. The Thingamabob, Jason Goes To Heck or The Hills Have Peepers.
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@Notawhiner: Everyone was texting her good morning sunshine, so I texted her "good morning solar eclipse" Yeah, don't do that.
@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
@rolldiggity: Bully: "Hey, four eyes!" Me: "Don't you mean... fork eyes?" [Turns around. Stabs bully with forks tied to glasses. Becomes class president.]