@Kyle_Lippert: Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze it's like a little party on your face.
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@JDBBourg: Doctor: You can only have clear liquids after midnight Me: Sure no problem Doctor: Not white wine Me:
@iwearaonesie: "If you get me to the next station I promise I'll never let you fall below half a tank again" - A Memoir
@AlexvanBeek: When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.