@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
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@AmishPornStar1: Do you like long lines, mass transit and sweaty white people? Ask your doctor if a Disney trip is right for you.
@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
@Mr_Bum_to_You: I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.