@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
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@Loli_Sug: Schools should teach kids how to balance a checkbook & basic car maintenance & how to hide a drinking problem. Regular life stuff ya know.
@JoyceCarolTotes: Sorry I got kicked out of the auditorium for yelling GET A TOMB YOU TWO during your little brother's 9th grade production of Romeo & Juliet.
@FrenulumBreve: Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated.