@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bush_piglet: Today I have learnt - if you try and give someone the finger whilst wearing mittens, you are basically just showing them your mittens.
@Bob_Janke: A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators
@theshamingofjay: "Sit" dog sits "Down" dog lays down on floor "Play Dead" dog graduates college, finds job, gets married and has kids
@carlyken: Give it to me straight "I'd really like to have sex with you-" Now give it to me gay "-r boyfriend."