@shot_of_cabo: Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross.
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@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.
@TinaMav: How to kill a spider: get a piece of tissue paper, approach it slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down.
@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.