@JoeMande: "Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory." - NBA players to their interior designers
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@wolfpupy: i will be the first to admit when something is my fault, it really undercuts the other people blaming me for things
@BigBec43: Saw this guy having engine troubles with his smart car. So I got out my son's legos and built him a new one. I'm such a giver
@cjwerleman: Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death.