@MooseAllain: Make porridge seem more glamorous by describing it as "Oat Cuisine".
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@SwartyComedy: If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings.
@blaha_Who: My gf thought it was so cute when she found out I owned a pair of tap shoes Until I got drunk, and put them on
@realHamOnWry: According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962.