@Mikecanrant: Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go.
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@Mickey_McCauley: For every hour that passes without payment, I will teach another hostage "Wonderwall" on acoustic guitar and release him back to you
@MatCro: ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant
@CrissySpeaks79: My 7 year old son told me "You're the most beautiful mommy ever!" I asked him what he did and where's he hiding it.