@Mikecanrant: Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go.
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@TeaAndCopy: ME: Excuse me…Where's the rowing boat equipment? EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what?
@CheetoBandito77: I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn't reach the cookies in the cupboard.
@_little_old_me: My cat just sniffed my right eye & licked his lips. When I die alone in my house, he'll probably eat that eyeball first.