@theshamingofjay: Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably
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@NicestHippo: Ever since childhood I've identified as a hippo. While other kids were playing, I savagely mauled villagers. #TransSpecies
@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
@TheThomason: Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
@myles_morrison: All the people that tried partying 'til the cows come home, are either stuck at home with a cow or dead from alcoholism.