@theshamingofjay: Make sure you finish all of your math homework, there are dumb kids in America who can't add - parents in China, probably
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@juliussharpe: Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages.
@SortaBad: Taco Bell manager: I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. It's your drug test Me: so you mean... Manager: yes, you passed. Get high & re-apply