@GirlCode: Make sure you know what you're getting tonight...#HAPPYHALLOWEEN. #GirlCode
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@awordforaword: I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than "you're out of batteries"
@DadandBuried: My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@UncleDuke1969: *kneels to pray* “Hello, God?” “YOU’VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT.” “Who is this?” “MY NAME IS BRAD.” “Are you in Heaven, Brad?” “NO, INDIA.”