@hasht4g: Make sure you tip your exorcist or else you can get repossessed.
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@Holy_Mowgli: car mechanic: I'm tired drummer: I'm beat pipe layer: I'm drained gardener: I'm bushed chef: I'm fried tailor: I'm worn plumber: I'm pooped
@PinkBlotMom: Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes.
@abhorrent_wife: Hi, I'm Megan. You may know me from such public encounters with kids as "No, YOUR face is stupid" and "I didn't trip you, you fell".
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: By your age I was on my 3rd child already. Me: Wow that's a lot of kids to eat in a such a short period of time.