@hasht4g: Make sure you tip your exorcist or else you can get repossessed.
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@priya_ebooks: o yeah u love women??? name their last three albums. thought so. u don't listen to women
@BlindChow: dog: i saw u out there me: what? dog: i saw u pet the neighbor dog me: i was just– dog: did u rub his belly? DID U ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?
@amydillon: [concert] SINGER: How's everyone feeling tonight??? ME: Whooo, kind of stressed, I'm in standoff with my HOA regarding lawn ornamentation!!!