@hasht4g: Make sure you tip your exorcist or else you can get repossessed.
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@juliussharpe: SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive.
@PanettaSexyTime: This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
@Dr_Teflon: *Ex wife yelling at me from driveway* I HOPE YOU DIE A LONG AND PAINFUL DEATH! Me- no babe I'm not moving back in Ex-.....