@BradBroaddus: Make sure your blind date from the internet has a big car. Nothing worse than a trunk with no leg room.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it
@stuckinaportal: *walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss* wtf? "dad i can explain" u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes
@Brampersandon_: WIFE (noticing lipstick on my collar): have you been kissing another woman? ME: uhh MY DOG (with bright pink lips): go on, tell her