@BradBroaddus: Make sure your blind date from the internet has a big car. Nothing worse than a trunk with no leg room.
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@notfaizzy: Me: hello, police? I think I'm living with a murderer! Last night, she came home with a body... Crap! She just came in. Cat: *meow*
@geowizzacist: Star Wars VII: the force awakens Star Wars VIII: the force goes out to play Star Wars IX: goodnight force
@KattsDogma: French guy (showing me his yachts): This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six. Me: Where's the 5th? FG: Cinq.
@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit