@agenteo: Make your daily standup meeting shorter
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@erikbransteen: "Speak softly and carry a big stick." -- Teddy Roosevelt "Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick." -- Donald Trump
@Quartzjixler: Me: A coworker called me 'Papa Hemingway' today. Her: Because of your beard? Me: Well it wasn't because of my Nobel in Literature.
@dave_cactus: [HONK HONK] ...one more honk and I'm gonna... [HONK] *gets out of my car* *walks to the car behind me* *feeds the driver's goose some bread*