@agenteo: Make your daily standup meeting shorter
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@caperbc75: *nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!
@iwearaonesie: If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell "My eyes!" BEFORE she starts changing
@MrSandeepP: This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.