@robfee: Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you've been under water for too long.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TennisShoeBoi: On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class.
@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
@LivibelsDada: You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.
@Adam_Kingsnorth: Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.