@WheelTod: Make your own bacon by tricking a pig into running headlong through a harp.
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@darth__mouth: hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper.
@better_off_dad: Playboy: We're going to take the naked ladies out of our magazine! Men: You know we were kidding about reading the articles, right?
@joeljeffrey: When I make my first million, Im switching from 2 ply toilet paper to white bread.
@flashember: [Crime Scene] Detective: Looks like the killer used a wheelbarrow to dump the victim. [in the shed a wheelbarrow grins, his seventh kill]