@Scimommy: #MakeAFilmUncomfortable Four Wedgies and a Funeral
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@HeyZeus666: My grandfather said he'd never be caught dead wearing cargo pants, so I slipped the funeral director an extra 50 bucks. And now we wait.
@seamussaid: dude told me he did a line with Emma Watson but I know he was lying - she's British, they call them "queues"
@SoVeryBritish: Trains delayed due to: - Wrong kind of sun - Ominous cloud - Slightly damp leaf - Chilly track - Suspicious gravel - Sarcastic swan
@JesseWeller: You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that shit.