@adamochoa: *makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit
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@collegeben: friend: here he comes. dont set him off again. me: ok me&friend: hey JADEN SMITH: What If We Are the Hay, And The World Is Harvesting Us?
@MariyaAlexander: I had this nightmare that Salma Hayek and Kevin Hart were trying to tell me something at the same time and expected me to understand it
@Playing_Dad: [At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH