@adamochoa: *makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit
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@AdderallMomma: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
@Adam14: Calling a girl "honey" is ok. Calling a girl "bee vomit" is not ok. I'm a relationship expert.
@_blotty: Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse
@causticbob: I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.