@BGH70: The company CEO gives a few words of personal appreciation each year at the holiday party. I got, "Oh, you're still here?"

@Beatonm5: Watching the end credits of a movie so you can take note of the producer & director and never ever watch anything else that they make ●︿●

@AmishPornStar1: It's almost summer and I'm only three stomach flus and a couple tapeworms away from my beach body!!!

@Tmoney68: Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days.

@MrT1M: Top 3 invisible things: 1) 2) 3)