@mrtruthandsoul: I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back

@prozdkp: Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain

@Sickayduh: [Titanic] Steward: Lifeboats are assigned by your star sign. Aries, this boat. Virgo, that boat- "What about Leo?" Steward: No. Leo dies.

@KyleMcDowell86: [going thru airport security] "Please turn your laptop on" *I start to stroke it's audio input* "That's not what I-' Me: No no it likes this

@markydoodoo: I'm gods gift to women if god only shopped at Rite Aid.