@dumbbeezie: *makes Transformer sound effects while I put my makeup on*
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@thatUPSdude: HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!
@girlontapas: Love it when I see the sign: “You must have been born before 1999 to buy tobacco products.” My oldest bra can smoke now.