@dumbbeezie: *makes Transformer sound effects while I put my makeup on*
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@wife_housy: Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster.
@Anon_imosity: [walks into bookstore] Me: do you have any books on turtles? Worker: Hard back? Me: Yeah, with little heads.
@WheelTod: Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs