@AaronFullerton: Making a list of all the people who wrote "Happy Birthday" on my wall without an exclamation point so that I know who's secretly mad at me.
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@buhsbaby_baby: If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me.
@rickkondell: The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.
@lasergirl70: Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror.