@AaronFullerton: Making a list of all the people who wrote "Happy Birthday" on my wall without an exclamation point so that I know who's secretly mad at me.
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@Kalarlis: holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?
@weinerdog4life: All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
@LeBearGirdle: *texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3
@JaySuch: My doctor told me if I was 5" taller I'd be at the ideal weight, so I'm going to try and give that a shot.