@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
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@BroIsMeeeee: Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check out that car. It has 400 horses. 5-year-old: Where does all the poop go?
@robyn_vo: It's so annoying when attractive people say they're ugly just to get compliments from people, ugh if I weren't so ugly I'd do the same thing