@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
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@truegritrumble: ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.
@amazymay72x: You know what else is fun? Playing dead when your husband receives the credit card bill...
@just1fool: I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza.
@B1gBrainsMcGee: I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars