@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
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@TomTheWicked: If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter.
@TheCatWhisprer: ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]