@IamEnidColeslaw: making it rain (CHEETOS) in the club (my bedroom)
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@markleggett: MAJOR TOM: Tell my wife I love her very much… GROUND CONTROL: She knows. MAJOR TOM: Wait… Is she with you now? GROUND CONTROL: Bye, Tom.
@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@rockymomax: MORGAN FREEMAN: I'm here to narrate your life ME: cool! [2 hrs later] MF: he's still trying to figure out the childproof cap on his Tylenol