@fro_vo: *malia passes me a joint* thanks obama
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@TheAlexNevil: Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me "for safe keeping".
@ddsmidt: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
@EyeSeeYou619: Having a bummer day? Here's an out of context Spider-man comic book scene that made me laugh.