@GrantTanaka: Man buns are just the beginning, next thing you know it’ll be ok for men to have anything on their heads, like a goat or a small child
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@envydatropic: First date - I'll have an ice water and a lettuce wedge Tenth date - I'll have a large pizza, extra cheese. What do you want, honey?
@Darlainky: Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day.
@simoncholland: You think you have a pretty strong marriage until you try to help your 5th grader with her math homework together.
@audipenny: Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles