@RegularFred: Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo.
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@bigmacher: Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio
@INDlAN_: [shootout] Cop: I said fire a warning shot Me: I already did. Cop: you shot him in the face Me: warning the others that I’m a very good shot
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.