@TheMichaelRock: I just had a coughing fit and think I accidently created a Nicki Minaj song featuring Ke$ha. Sorry, you guys.

@3_arbutus: There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.

@LOsepyan: According to my next door neighbor's diary I have "boundary issues" can you believe that?

@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous

@causticbob: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.