@JasonBerlin: Man, these hotcakes are selling like themselves.
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@ShtFatGirlsSay: Doctors say eating a piece of Bacon takes 9 mins off your life...if my math is correct i died in 1781
@TheToddWilliams: Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn
@murrman5: [wife calls] did you write "make all the traps from home alone" on the calendar [me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] "no"