@_Mo_lee_: "Man, what's eating you today?
I Don't know.... GET IT OFF OF ME!!!
@Underchilde: Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe.
@abbycohenwl: Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain
@fatherofcomedy: Poor superman.he can't go commando without the whole world noticing
@ericsshadow: I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
@daemonic3: DOCTOR: You should lose some weight
ME: Ok I'll consider it
VET: Your dog should lose some weight
ME: Hey bud, you're going on a diet!