@trevso_electric: Man who looks forward to spending his entire life with Kim Kardashian disagrees with Grammy decision.
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@Dmvm1977: When I get home to find my wife naked in the tub, seductively asking me to "warm her up", I dont waste a second.. to throw in a hairdryer
@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
@ch000ch: hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car
@AndyAsAdjective: [checks Facebook & sees my 4th grade girlfriend has liked my hot chocolate recipe share] ME: I knew she'd come crawling back to me one day