@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixfootcandy: Dr: How can I help you? Me: Can you make me look like this? Dr: Ma'am, that's a picture of Hello Kitty.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@OBiiieeee: Cop: where ya headed? "the gym" Cop: im gonna save you a lot of embarrassment and arrest you "thank you so much, officer"
@useful_wagon: Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras