@juliussharpe: Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work.
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@vineyille: "First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish
@jilleb163: My "I'm enraged!" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well.
@FeralCrone: I'm wearing black with navy blue today. Fight me. Any bruising will only serve to tie it all together.