@juliussharpe: Management tip - only hire bald guys. They don't have anything going on besides work.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is
@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons.
@MrSpoonicorn: *1st time at gym* *picks up weight* how do i equip this *steps on treadmill* can i get exp on here *taps huge guy* do you sell mana potions
@XplodingUnicorn: Don’t do drugs, kids. The extra demand will drive up the price for the rest of us.