@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources
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@jonnysun: when u get caugt lying on ur resume but u still try to convince the interviewer that ur qualified for the job
@ch000ch: date: why are u talking to me like i'm a news anchor me: sorry i do it when i'm nervous. back to you, karen.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*
@causticbob: My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.