@weezafish: Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?
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@ashlar36: I'm going to complain about the cold until a Canadian gets mad enough to say something rude, like 'I'm sorry but it's colder in Canada."
@HeyZeus666: My boss thinks being gay is a disease so I called in queer this morning. But I reassured him that I should be straight again by tomorrow.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.
@KKAlThani: I pretend I'm on the phone when entering a barbershop & say "I stabbed him only cause I hate small talk " so he doesn't try to talk to me.