@weezafish: Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?
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@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, "Sounds like somebody needed a friend"
@UncleDuke1969: Jim ate my sandwich. It was clearly labeled. Jim's email is open on his PC. Jim's son now thinks he's adopted. The sandwich was LABELED.
@evilmallelis: those ads for The Heavy Blanket are all well and good but why does it stop at 25 pounds, where is the blanket that will crush me like a benevolent snake
@TheBoydP: Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don't remember doing it.