@EliTerry: Many people are surprised to hear I'm married because I scream it at them as I descend from their broken skylight in the dead of night.
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@ZachWeiner: "How do you speak with an American accent?" "Well, imagine vowels killed your parents, and you're out for revenge."
@GlumGeorgeLucas: "The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."
@goldengateblond: My neighbors have both a howling dog and a screaming baby out in their yard. I'd throw a rock or something but I'm afraid I'd hit the dog.