@Jenny4ashley: Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot.
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@gerryhallcomedy: I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.
@d_whitehouse: Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal.