@Jenny4ashley: Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot.
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@JB4Realz: [PHONE] "TSA, How can I help you?" Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
@tarashoe: A WOMAN: i've only been washing my hair ME: IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM SINK!! ME TOO!! THE WOMAN: once a ME: ONCE I WAKE UP I KNOW SAME ME TOO!!
@TheBoydP: You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I've never laughed so hard...