@NicestHippo: Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle
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@GreenishDuck: Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat.
@TheRobCee: [stewardess] "Sir, even if you ARE, as you say, the REAL Slim Shady- the captain has asked for all passengers to remain seated at this time"
@doublewenis: Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams.
@moneybreton: Top Fears 1.Walking on manholes 2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death 3.Christopher Walken