@thepunningman: Mark Ruffalo is the name you could most likely teach a dog to say.
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@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*
@UNTRESOR: You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked.
@JermHimselfish: Treat her like she's the only girl on Earth. Nothing makes a woman happier than the thought of every other woman disappearing forever.
@jamieramone: It's the point of the night where I either keep my drunk friend from making an ass of herself or just tape it for youtube.