@slimmy_shady: Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn't have to end at work.
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@markleggett: 1- Buy a big padlock. 2- Throw the key into the ocean. 3- Find a stranger with stretched-out earlobes. 4- Attach padlock to earlobe. 5- Run.
@AbbyHasIssues: I missed a call from my mom, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.