@slimmy_shady: Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn't have to end at work.
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@MizzSlaughter: Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait.
@badbanana: If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
@TheDailySchmuck: Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: "Wow. I helped them make quota."