@GeorgeTakei: Marriage equality AND marijuana laws passed? Now we know what Leviticus really meant by "A man who layeth with another man must be stoned."
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@tastefactory: [killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says "Who goes there" ME: Ok laugh it up
@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.