@bdbdleeroybrown: Marriage is for people who want their break ups to involve paperwork.
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@FatherofTweet: Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie." Husband: "Which is this?"
@TheTweetOfGod: Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not.
@68Cly29: Doctors, soldiers, firefighters. These are all respected positions. But the position I respect most as a parent Is a driver's Ed instructor