@bdbdleeroybrown: Marriage is for people who want their break ups to involve paperwork.
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@DaddyBeerGuy: Arguing with a woman is like being attacked by a bear... You're better off playing dead and hoping they get bored and walk away!
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.
@duumb: Me: Dammit I'm not gonna let you die on my watch Her: *chokes* It's too late Me: *leans in close* Get off my watch. It's a Rolex.