@ShoutingGoddess: Marriage is like a tattoo. You say it's for ever but we all know there are ways & means of ditching it. It'll just be painful and expensive.
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@ibid78: DISPATCH: we have a report of a robbery in progress four blocks from your current location HOT AIR BALLOON COP: I'll be there in 80 days
@doublewenis: Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?
@badbanana: Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her.
@HanaMichels: I've yet to find a romantic comedy that speaks to me. Maybe if they set it in an institution or an Arby's restroom.