@ShoutingGoddess: Marriage is like a tattoo. You say it's for ever but we all know there are ways & means of ditching it. It'll just be painful and expensive.
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@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@MythicPicnic: Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did
@justabloodygame: *scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?