@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.
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@hippieswordfish: *COPS* cop: there he is! get him! 'you'll never catch me! i'm translucent-man!' *goes translucent* cop: we can still kinda see you
@matt___nelson: [getting escorted out of zoo] "I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"