@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.
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@i_love_fudge: My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate & then burn them. I wonder what I should do with the letters.
@KeetPotato: [me giving a tour of pillow factory] guy: "what do you fill the pillows with?" me: [spotting a family of ducks in tour group] "just stuff"
@JasonLastname: I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens.