@Sam_Alan33: MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TIP: Get down on 1 knee. Ok, now the other. Great! Lie flat on your face. Quickly roll away don't get married you idiot.
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@Brampersandon_: [Mom]: My son's voice is changing [Dr.]: Thats normal at his age [Mom]: This is normal? *fax machine noises are coming from the kid's mouth*
@JillBidenVeep: Barack: Sign here, and here Joe: And then the adoption is final & you and Michelle are my parents? Barack: No, Joe
@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
@TheIronSherk: You really shouldn't label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else.