@Sam_Alan33: MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TIP: Get down on 1 knee. Ok, now the other. Great! Lie flat on your face. Quickly roll away don't get married you idiot.
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@ahuj9: Hello is this HP? I'd like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
@pauldame: Man: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Man: "Then why did you tell me?"
@Jenny4ashley: If you had to choose between voting for Trump or getting into the water with sharks, would you dive in or do a cannon ball?
@the_tsai_guy: People who tie their sweaters around their necks look like they were giving somebody a piggyback ride before the person got Raptured.