@slimmy_shady: MARRIAGE PROTIP - Guys, if you have a picture of your junk on your phone, you better be sure your wife has a copy of it on hers. Good talk.
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@Dutch_50: Went to dinner with a recovering alcoholic vegan who just quit smoking. Everything entering or leaving my mouth was offensive #WorstDateEver
@amybethlee70: I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed.