@slimmy_shady: MARRIAGE PROTIP - Guys, if you have a picture of your junk on your phone, you better be sure your wife has a copy of it on hers. Good talk.
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@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect changed "you flatter me" to "you flatten me" and shit just got really weird.
@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.
@NickBossRoss: "Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Actually I think it was when you hit me with your car-" "WE GOT AN ANGEL OVER HERE!"
@_ElvishPresley_: Guardians of the Galaxy was pretty good, I just wish they did a better job explaining which character was Groot