@rickygervais: Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.
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@OutOnTheMoors: How does an eyelash, so soft and fine, turn into a cheese-grater when it gets under your eyelid?
@mdob11: Me: [crying so hard I can't breathe] why Waiter: [returning my plate] sorry, I thought you were done
@rzarosco: Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam
@Nicoleroxxu: One more glass of wine and my "only a lesbian from the waist up" rule is about to go out the window.