@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.
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@thenoahkinsey: Some are mad Trump won. Others are mad that the anti-Trumps are mad. I'm mad that you open up a new bag of chips and it's only 1/3 full.
@BritXNic: You can tell a lot about a man by the way he calls off the wedding and starts dating your brother.
@ShoutingGoddess: I've done a few things I've been ashamed of, but at least I never played FarmVille.
@That_Damn_Duck: Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.