@PJTLynch: Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.
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@jesseltaylor: Me five minutes ago: I'm not sure what the United Kingdom is Me now: very good result in Newcastle Central, bodes poorly for the Tories
@AphroditeAfter5: Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
@Ygrene: [Murderer enters my bedroom] Murderer: murdering time! Me: not today murderer (safely positions entire body under covers) Murderer: SON OF A