@MoneypennyNaked: Married girls are so lucky. They can post anything they want on here because they already tricked some dumb guy into marrying them.
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@lawblob: [the boss walks by my desk and catches me looking at sonic anime] Me: the hackers are at it again. I was trying to visit church. com
@jbillinson: Biden: They don't really think I'd say this stuff, right? Obama: Come on Joe, you've said worse Biden: HE'S NOT MY PRESIDENT BARACK. YOU ARE
@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses. Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous... Interviewer: Strengths? Me: Vocabulary?
@d2BMcG: I've not smoked weed in two year, during that time I've completed sooooo much ...................... drunk