@TheAlexP: Married men aren't allowed to go the grocery store alone because we're the kid in the shopping cart, but with money
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@LuvPug: *posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters* Caption: I'm so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross
@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'
@panmidwest: I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: "I'm better than you—but not by much."