@dbgindy: Married men live longer then single men. So if you want a slow death...... ;-)
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@myonlymizztake: If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.
@SteveDutzy: Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony.
@AintNoFamily: Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.
@Reverend_Scott: I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that's only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.