@citizenkawala: Married With Children is a hilarious sitcom until you’re 35 and realise it’s a chilling documentary.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: What do you call the yellow ones? -Yellow labs. And the black ones? -Black labs. So the brown ones are- -No we named those after dog poison.
@Hilarious_Idiot: Harry Potter fans: I wanna go to Hogwarts. Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia. Hunger Games fans: Nope I'm good..
@hippieswordfish: when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent